Those of you who
have visited the blog before may have wondered about its title, “Decade
Displacement.” While I attempted to explain it a bit in the main heading, that
small text box just doesn’t begin to give any real sense of something that I
feel affects me—and many other people—in a real and true way. I want to be able
to explain it without sounding trite and unoriginal, but I’m not a fan of my
own writing and it really just annoys me when I re-read it. Nonetheless, I
shall attempt to dive into the issue at hand, the inspiration for this blog.
Ever since I
was little, I knew that I was out of place in my time. I never fit in with
people my own age, and I still don’t to this day. I often describe myself as an
“old lady in a young person’s body” to my students, because that’s really what
I am, it seems. I’ve never been fond of the “things” of my generation, and
lately, I’ve realized that I just never seem to be at the right place in the
time continuum that I want to be in. It usually comes too late. For example, I
hated—loathed—being a child.
Seriously, flat-out hated it. In my mind, I never felt like a true child. I
just wanted to be an adult, because I preferred adults and adult conversation.
I didn’t like being treated like a child because I felt like I acted more
mature and deserved to be treated like a mature person. That’s not to say I
didn’t have my kid moments, but I can honestly say that I wished my entire
childhood to be older, and now that I am, I don’t regret it, because it is
everything I wanted it to be. I don’t miss childhood, I don’t want to re-live
it, I’m glad it’s gone. Good riddance.
But there’s
still a problem. I may be an adult now, but it too often feels like I’m just an
adult in the wrong time. My musical tastes are different, my taste in clothing
is different, never the same as what one would expect from a typical
25-year-old. I watch the Brady Bunch every evening (thank you, Hallmark
Channel!) and just
die over their
clothes because I LOVE them. All the while, I brainstorm in my mind, “Do I own
a [vintage] wide-leg pants pattern like that? Could I find a dress pattern like
that?” etc. The Brady Bunch, as silly and ridiculous as it probably sounds to
anyone reading this, has been major fuel for my Decade-Displaced feelings. I’ll
never forget the summer I turned 11, when Nick-at-Nite had its “Block Party
Summer” and played hours and hours of The Brady Bunch every Tuesday. I started
watching and I immediately became, well, obsessed. I wanted to BE them, to wear
the clothes, have the hair, date the boys—haha—you name it. I felt such a
strong connection to this show and this era that my 11-year-old heart hurt that
I was living in 1998 and not 1973. What I wouldn’t have given to just be able
to teleport back in time. Couple this new connection with the fact that I had
loved The Beatles and other older music faithfully since around age 8—I was an
old soul feeling more lost than ever that summer. Now, when I watch in the
present, it reminds me of that feeling from 1998. At least now, I can sew my
way into having just a little slice of the 70s.
 |
| Proof. |
Decade
Displacement doesn’t just stop at clothing—music only increases this feeling
exponentially. In my 2nd period cooking class, I let them put on
Pandora stations so they can have something on while they’re working. The
running joke is that I’m so out of touch that I don’t know any of the bands or
singers that come on. Now they make fun of me particularly whenever Bruno Mars
comes on, because I thought it was a band, and it turns out that it’s just one
person. Haha. So, don’t be surprised if you come into my class and hear, “Oh,
Ms. Stewart, it’s ‘that band,’ Bruno Mars!”
In any case—music
of the past affects me in ways I can’t describe. This unfortunately is a cliché,
but needs to be said: today’s music is just crap, most of it, and just doesn’t
seem to have the passion and meaning behind it that past music had. I think the
perfect example of this is with the band THEM. If you’ve never heard of THEM,
it’s the band Van Morrison was in before he was a solo artist, before “Brown
Eyed Girl” and “Moondance” and all that jazz. While that stuff is good, THEM’s
music will BLOW YOUR MIND. Please, take a
listen.
The sound, I
just can’t even describe it. Van’s voice is just so powerful. There’s passion
behind it. I feel like I’m in the right place when I listen to this record. Not
a whole lot can top it.
The Beatles,
The Zombies, The Kinks, Francoise Hardy, THEM, The Animals, Lesley Gore, Tim
Buckley…then, fast forward a little bit, Pearl Jam, The Red Hot Chili Peppers,
Sound Garden… okay, I can see those of you who know me very well rolling your
eyes. Go ahead. Gooo ahead and say, “But that’s the same stuff you always
listen to! Branch out a little!” Well, you know what, I may not like a wide
variety of endless genres and artists and whatever, but what I like, I like it
hard. Quality, not quantity. And this music, while it pains me to know I’ll
never see the Beatles live or see 1992 Eddie Vedder climb the rafters and dive
into the crowd, I at least take solace knowing I can escape for a little while
in my mind if I just pop in that CD or record or hit “play” on the Ipod.
 |
| It's just not fair, Francoise. |
Where am I
going with all of this? I don’t even know at this point in the rant, but let me
just say that, to me, to be Decade-Displaced is real. That person you know who
you call an “old soul”? It’s real. Maybe there’s a reason people like us are
here now and not “Then,” whenever “Then” is for them. Maybe we’ll never feel
like we belong in the time we’re in. So, just be kind and understanding, and
don’t make fun of us too much. I’ll just keep sewing, listening, and learning,
because it makes me happy and eases the sadness of feeling like you are never where you should be.
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